HEY ASSHOLE, GUESS WHAT???? ACTIONS. HAVE. CONSEQUENCES. AND IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME YOU FUCKING STARTED DEALING WITH THAT.

so, got my scuba certification this weekend (also completing my undergrad with this test as my last final ever, haha love it!). the quarry we dove in is specifically a scuba park, and for the most part the stuff to look at was kind of boring (can’t wait to get out in the ocean and see some real things!), but my favorite part was looking up and watching everybody’s bubbles rise to the surface.

so then… are you ready for it? today i was swimming overtop of someone, and watching his bubbles rise. they look like jellies, essentially—big, circular, and smooth at the top, disseminating into smaller bubbles right underneath the crown. so i began smashing them. like, whack-a-mole style. OMMMMMGGGGGG. and they burst into thousands and thousands of smaller bubbles. IT. WAS.  MAGNIFICENT. diving was awesome, but if i never go scuba diving ever again, for this reason ALONE i will be tragically upset.

maybe that will change when i see a shark or something… and then want to see more cool stuff… but it’s hard to say… this was BEYOND fabulous.

holy shit. so, during freshman orientation, they had us write letters to ourselves. TOTALLY forgot about this, and just got mine back today. some people took theirs as a joke, but i know myself too well, and let’s just say that this letter STRAIGHT UP made me cry. little me got real real with myself.

okay, so dunno if it’s a weird thing to share, but i’m about to nonetheless. let me preface it by saying a few things:
1) i have always wanted to go to college for my entire life, it’s the only thing i’ve ever for SURE known i wanted to do, and let’s just say i never really took the time to figure out much anything past that. okay well aside from having kids but that will be yearrrrrs, at least, and is only partially in control.
2) st. mary’s is, aside from in a shell on the water, the first place i have ever truly felt at home, something which is VERY important to me.
3) these past four years have been the absolute most INTENSE moments of my entire life. which, if you know anything about me, is SERIOUSLY saying something. i’ve been forced to grow in ways i never knew even existed, not to mention had to be so much stronger than i would ever wish on anyone. that being said, every experience, every moment of my life has led me to who i am today—and even though i have no idea where that puts me in the world—i wouldn’t trade it for my life. because, after all, this IS my life.

greta (referred to at the end) is my aunt who i’m almost exactly like who loves school and hung around as long as she possible could haha.

aight, so.

august 30,2008

hey there—

so, you made it. you made it through that place you’ve wanted to go your entire life, and i’m more than sure that all in all, it was an experience you wouldn’t trade for the world. maybe you’re off to grad school, maybe you’re off to a new job, maybe you’re off to travel the world—who knows—but whatever you’re doing, i hope you have somewhere else you’ll want to go for your entire life, or something you want to do, no matter how grandiose or simple or specific or ambiguous it may be.

i know who i am today, but looking back on how much i’ve changed during high school, or middle school, or even this past summer, i can’t even imagine who i’ll be in four years. i know one thing, i hope i’m at least relatively content with myself, but i have no doubt that i’ll create a life here, at this college i will someday call home and one day want to continue to call home [SO TRUTH.], that will end me up exactly in the place i ought to be. i’m sure there were some rough times, but you got through, if for no other reason than you knew you could, so, thank you. thank you for helping me make my college dream into a reality. really. [AHHHH, I LOVE YOU, LITTLE ME]

i guess you won’t really have left me behind by the time four years rolls around, but more, grown into a fuller version of me. just don’t forget that i’m still here, the all-too-serious little kid just tryna [okay sike, that was my own present-day touch, it says “trying to”] live her life. so do me a favor and go do just that. you’ve graduated, finally, you’re done with school forever (unless you want to major in something else and be like greta or go to grad school)—go live your life.

love always, ∞
aug 2008

i mean. this was already all worth it. but that was exactly, exactly, exactly what i needed to here. so glad i’ve got my back. seriously though, love you, little me. love you.

whatshouldrowerscallme:

And I’m all like,

uhh. last collegiate regatta ever was yesterday? is started crying a good 5 times on the way home. well, hopefully i’ll get to stay for ACRAs. but still. the season is over. things are changing. i am going to miss this team like nothing i have ever missed before.

┌∩┐━━━(゜∀゜)━━━┌∩┐

(Source: girlmodern)

don’t you feed me lies about some idealistic future/
your heart won’t heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

just made an event for my SMP presentation. i’m surprsingly super stoked about this. guess i’d better get working on that…